BJJ Is One of the Few Places Adults Are Allowed to Be Bad at Something
Something about BJJ that people don’t talk about much: It might be one of the only places adults voluntarily go to be terrible at something… repeatedly… in public. Most adults spend their lives carefully curating environments where they look competent. Work. Social situations. Hobbies they’re already good at.
We avoid situations that expose incompetence. BJJ by it's nature completely breaks that pattern. Day one you walk into a room where:
A 16-year-old triangle chokes you
Someone half your size strangles you with your own jacket
A purple belt ties you in knots and explains it kindly while you try to remember how breathing works
Over time you start seeking out the people who make you look the worst, because that what makes you get better. That behaviour is almost irrational in any other adult environment.
Perhaps the greatest skill you’re actually training isn’t just guard retention or passing but your ability to:
be wrong
be uncomfortable
be exposed
keep going anyway
Do you think that training BJJ has made you a better person off the mats?
8 Comments
Maybe it is a mindset thing. If you are highly competitive, you don’t allow your self to be bad. If you do BJJ for fun, its fun to be bad. Makes others happy.
@crossover Does that suppose that the "superstars" of the sport we natural to it from the beginning, since by their nature they don't allow themselves to be bad? I heard an interesting podcast with Ffion the other day where so spoke about being trash at the beginning, as well as not being able to get her brother intersted since he is someone that doesn't allow themselves to be bad. I guess we all fall into two camps when starting BJJ.
I got smashed - I'm never doing this again
I got smashed - I need to learn how to do this
I certainly thought I was humble before I started training but in my first week I was choked unconscious by someone that barely weighed 100lbs and was an elementary school teacher. That set the bar for sure.
Just getting started in BJJ and I haven't been this excited about something in years. I wrestled 13 years ago and never really fell in love with it until I was out of it and missed that feeling. I finally got to start this with 2 of my sons, and showing them that if you work hard and focus... you still suck but you start to know why you are sucking and can devise a gameplan to eventually suck less. It's cool to watch over the last almost 2 months and 24 hours put in the cardio build up and my ability to settle in is coming along rolling with higher belts has been even more fun because that's where I've gotten the best info they could destroy you but instead tell you how to avoid the spot you're in for future or how to attack from where you are... the sport is inviting despite what the activity is!
Hello from France !
BJJ is an amazing tool to manage ego and provide real time feedback. No special effects, all your flaws (technical, physical, mental, conditioning) are on the spotlight. Up to you to adapt and infuse some intelligence/wisdom when tackling the numerous problems you come across. I'm 50 so I have a sizeable backlog :) and that's the added value I derive from the practice. It keeps me honest and in line with my reality. To show up I needed to change my mindset and treat BJJ as one aspect of an overall training system including strength / conditioning, diet, mental work, mobility and of course becoming pro at recovery.
Take care !
I have absolutely gotten more comfortable with being vulnerable and learning from those more skilled since starting jiu jitsu. The process of being humbled over and over and improving from it made me a believer.
@timmymac Such a good attitude to have, to be honest. Goes very well with "sparring is for learning, not winning".