How do you deal with “that guy” at the gym?
Every gym has one.
The guy who turns every round into a car crash. White knuckles on every grip, explosive in all the dumbest directions, no sense of control, no sense of pace, and absolutely no distinction between technical training and a hostage situation. The spaz. And honestly, I think a lot of gyms tolerate this for far too long.
People love to dress it up as “he’s just new” or “he’ll calm down with time,” but being new doesn’t automatically explain away being dangerous. Plenty of beginners manage to train hard without turning every exchange into an avoidable injury risk.
At some point we have to stop pretending this is just enthusiasm. A lot of the time it’s ego. Panic. Insecurity. The inability to accept losing even in a meaningless Tuesday night round. So instead of learning, they thrash, yank, bench-press, bridge, twist and scramble like their life depends on not getting mounted by an accountant.
The room often adapts to them instead of the other way round. Higher belts get told to “just manage him.” Smaller people silently avoid him. Coaches keep half an eye on him like he’s a faulty firework. Everyone knows he’s a liability, but because he pays fees and hasn’t fully launched anyone into orbit yet, the problem gets left to simmer.
I actually think “gym spaz” gets used too gently in some cases. Sometimes it makes it sound quirky. Harmless. Almost funny. But if someone is repeatedly reckless, ignores the tone of the round, and makes training less safe for everybody else, that’s not an amusing personality type. That’s a deeper problem.
So here’s the real question:
At what point should a coach stop trying to “develop” the spaz and start holding them fully accountable for how they train? Because I don’t buy that everyone deserves unlimited time to figure it out while other people have to risk their teeth, knees, and necks in the process.
Curious where people stand on this. There's a certain person we've tried absolutely everything with. From old school make them suffer, to sit down human conversation, to restrictions on who they can roll with, to many other methods. At what point is enough, enough?
10 Comments
Why does a white belt spaz? Maybe they don't want to loose? - and they do not have skills (and need) to use opponents force and movements to their advantage. If that is the reason, then answer should be to solve those problems ( by the coach ofcourse).
@crossover what if this white belt spaz is 4 years in and still doesn't have the skills because they don't want to "lose" in training. The real problem with the lifelong spaz I think is attitude and ego which roadblocks any real skill development. Is there a point where you would call it quits and stop them training with you before something catastrophic happens? Obviously if the worst happens you have all the reason to enforce a parting of ways but until then, do you just live in the danger zone?
As a 54 years old, 76 kg blue belt, I avoid these guys like plague. No second thought, no interest... I enjoy the practice and I am fully aware of my constraints. This is risk mitigation.
Gym bros / Spaz attitude is fed by the group dynamic, cultural identity and inaction, or worse, vetting from the coach. Attitude reflects leadership applies well. Gym needs to set boundaries and rules. Coach(es) should read the room and be proactive in mitigating risk to individuals, to the group (bad vibe) and to the gym (liability,reputation...).
At what point is enough, enough?
You have the facts. Costs / benefits analysis. If costs > benefits then cut him loose.
@Gosherama I think you cost vs. benefit framing is a very astute one. I also think just avoiding them is a decent individual survival strategy and maybe when multiple people are doing this that's a strong indicator of the cost tipping the scale on the benefits.
I avoid most of our grapplers. I only roll with very good friends. I have two hip replacements and I am 68 yo. I can play some situational sparring games just to show what might happen. It is a little pite sad, but that is the way it goes.
I have banned some guys from certain moves, or forced them to start rolls in certain positions to make them either practice from there or learn to accomplish a task without doing spazzy things. Admittedly it doesn't always work, but taking interest in them and coaching them personally usually gets the message through. Bar that I will roll with them myself and keep them in uncomfortable positions until they learn a lesson, without injuring them ofcourse
Every gym has one.The guy who turns every round into a car crash. White knuckles on every grip, explosive in all the dumbest directions, no sense of control, no sense of pace, and absolutely no distinction between technical training and a hostage situation. The spaz. And honestly, I think a lot of gyms tolerate this for far too long.People love to dress it up as “he’s just new” or “he’ll calm down with time,” but being new doesn’t automatically explain away being dangerous. Plenty of beginners m…
@Pred500 dang brother, at the same time it’s that exact spazziness that you will have to confront out there after you here “give me your wallet”. Maybe that guy is an asset!?!🤷🏽♂️
An asset maybe in a "BJJ for the streets" seminar as the realistic attacker (he could even earn some bucks ;-)). In most cases, however, a 'true spaz' does more harm than good and is truly distinct from a typical beginner who uses too much strength or from someone with gross motor skills who is trying hard but just can't fine-tune movement and/or strength. Also, going hard in a controlled way is great (from time to time and if both training partners agree beforehand).
Ultimately, I think, it all comes down to attitude and ego, which should align with the general attitude and culture of the gym/the coach. If that is not the case and neither an honest conversation nor specific/restricted rolling scenarios lead to long-term improvement of the situation, the gym should get rid of such a person (see risk/benefit ratio above). And it's not even that such a person is less good than others, it's just that there is a mismatch between the gym and that person and there is certainly other gyms where this person would be much better off.
If he's smaller, humble them in mount or guard. If they're bigger, humble with leg lock positions. If a guy is too spazzy, i just let that guide me to a control; at some point too much movement just lands them in a bad position